Annual EMSC Grantee Meeting

Family Representatives

The Magic Moment:

Family-Focused Leadership Skills Development

June 20 – 22, 2006

CONNI WELLS: Thank you. Well, you know they say life is about change, so forget everything she told you. I’m moving from Florida to Tennessee. And I’m kind of embarking on a new part of my life, but it’s been an exciting ride up until now. We’re going to have a lot of fun in this session today, though I’m sure that before we’re done the guy in the next room is going to be coming over and asking us to be quiet, so.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: There he is now.

CONNI WELLS: See? But this is going to be a very interactive session because I’m so excited about the opportunity to teach you how to take a minute of your time, and impact the lives of tens of thousands of families in that short minute, and we’ve tested this several times, and had a lot of fun with it. So let’s get started. As I go through this, please stop me at any time. Don’t wait till the end for questions or anything. Just stop me and we can talk about it. Now, to encourage you -- now I know some of you in here aren’t going to need any encouragement at all, but if you need encouragement, people who participate get to have a hundred -- or a grand. They get a grand, and if I call on you and ask you to participate and you don’t want to, tell me, “Pass,” okay? Because again, this is very interactive and I might be very likely to walk up and say, “Ruth, give me a magic minute,” because the best way to learn a magic minute is to practice it over and over and over again.

So, Ruth if I walk up and do that and you’re not ready for it, you don’t want to do it, just say, “Pass Conni.” Is everyone comfortable with that so I don’t put anyone on the spot and make them? Okay, great. Well, what is a magic moment? Well, I’ll tell you. A magic moment is a spontaneous, unplanned opportunity. It could be a once in a lifetime event and an open door. Here’s an example of a magic moment one of the families we were working with had. She was at a conference and the Governor of Florida was there, and she excused herself to get up and get a drink, and she’s standing at the drinking fountain leaning over, she looks over and coming out of the men’s restroom is Jeb Bush. Now, he was kind of in a hurry so she had less than a minute. So if you have less than a minute at a time like that, how do you make the best use of that minute?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: (Inaudible)

CONNI WELLS: Oh. Sit on it. It’s funny. She wet her pants, she was so excited, but she did get her minute through. Okay. So, here might be another example. You’re on your way home from the conference. Connie, you’re on your way home. Are you going to fly your way home?

CONNIE: Yes, we are.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, you’re in the airport and, oh my gosh, there’s your Senator.

CONNIE: Yes.

CONNI WELLS: For your state.

CONNIE: Yes.

CONNI WELLS: And his name is on the list of senators, of people that we need to contact on behalf of strengthening and maintaining the funding for the MSC program, and you have a minute maybe because he’s in a hurry. Have you ever talked to someone really important while you’re talking to -- go ahead. Pretend you’re talking to me, and they’re going -- you know, how are you going to reign them back in, and make them pay attention to you? And I tell you, you got less than 60 seconds to do it. She’s holding my hand. She will not let go. That is a really good way to do it. She’s going to hold on to my hand -- yeah. So, we’re going to practice a few of these, and actually learn how to do it. One of the things that I learned is -- how many of you think that you can say what you want to say in a minute or less. John can. I guarantee when we’re done today, you’ll all be able to do it in six -- now, you aren’t going to be able to do the whole life history like, I was in labor for 12 hours and the doctor came in at the 10th hour and said -- we’ll probably not going to be able to get that detailed.

So how do we recognize a magic moment? Well, first of all, you have to know who the players are. You have to be able to recognize that senator in the airport. You have to -- they’re not going to walk around with a sign on, hey saying, “Hey come to talk me. You’ve got a minute. I’m you senator.” Okay? You have to know what their role is. You have to know. If he’s on the agronomical committee, and he’s focused on agriculture, talking with him about the budget for emergency medical services probably isn’t going to do an awful lot of good, unless you say to him, “I know that the guy -- the senator in the office next to you is head of the committee. Is there any way you could run over during lunch?”

Know what they can do for you efforts. We often have family members who walk up to the head of the Department of Disabilities and say, “I’m having so much trouble with my child’s IEP.” So you have to know what they can do for you. If you’re the -- in charge of the Development Disabilities Program in the state, there’s probably not an awful lot you’re going to do about the Department of Education. You can say to me, “You know what? You need to talk to Bambi. I’m not the person that you talk to.”

Know what they stand for. It’s really important to do some of your homework, especially if you might have an opportunity to talk to someone of important. If you’re headed up to the Capitol tomorrow afternoon or Thursday, and you know that you’re going to have a planned opportunity to meet with someone, do a little research on the internet, and find out what it is that they voted on. Find out what it is that they’ve said. Matter of fact, try to memorize a sentence out of one of their last speeches that you think comes right out and grabs them, and say to them, “You know what? In your speech when you talked to the state Kiwanis last year, I heard you say, “Da da da” or “I heard you said, and you know what? I want to start from right there. Thank you.” So, you need to know what they stand for, and then watch for them in airports, the workplace, and especially conferences. And in a minute we’re going to talk about -- there are actually some very important and influential people here at the conference for you to practice this on. And I hope that by tomorrow afternoon, some of them come up to me and say, “I’ve had a magic minute with roughly 30 people,” and what a wonderful impact that would be

So what we’re going to learn to do is introduce yourself in 15 seconds or less, okay? And then, you’re going to learn to make your point in 15 seconds and then close in 10 seconds. Now you’re going to say, “Well Conni, that doesn’t even add up to a minute.” Well, the reason we pad it with an extra 10 seconds is because it may take you a little longer in one area or oh no, they may ask a question, which usually they do, or they may make a comment or they may have to make a political stand on something and you have to give them the opportunity to do that. So we’re going to kind of pad that. So introducing yourself, you’re going to say who you are and validate why you’re about to talk to them and about what you’re going to say. You have to within the first 10 seconds; you have to create this expectation and belief in their mind that you’re a very important person. And that what you’re going to say is so important that they need to stand there for that minute without being hog-tied and held against the wall that they need to listen to you.

So, let’s pretend Connie that you’re the head of our state department of education; you’re the commissioner of education. And I have just per chance run into you at a conference. And I’m going to walk up and I’m going say, “Connie, hi. How are you? I’m so glad to meet you. I’m Conni Wells. And I’m the parent of four children that have gone through the Florida public schools. And right now I have three grandchildren that go to Crawfordville Elementary School.”

CONNIE: Glad to meet you, Conni.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, right away. But now, if he’s the head of the Developmental Disabilities Program, I’m not going to say that to him because that’s not important to him. I’m going to say, ”Hi, hi Mark. My name is Conni Wells. I’m so excited to meet you. I have four children and one of them has received services from your agency for 24 years.” Okay? So I did that a little bit different. Susan, you’re the head of our Emergency Medical Services program for the state. So, “Hi, Susan. My name is Conni Wells and I’m from Crawfordville, Florida. And I am so excited to meet you. Why, we’ve had a wonderful opportunity to use the EMS services in such a rural community. All right. You see how you do that? See how you try to work in so you have to know, what if it’s a generic important person like a senator? Okay? Ruth, I’m going to pick on -- she kept avoiding contact with me like she knew I was going to her. Okay. Ruth, could you come up here and let’s pretend that I’m a senator. And Ruth is an old pro at this -- not an old pro, a pro.

RUTH: An old pro.

CONNI WELLS: You’re a pro. She sees it. And within 10 seconds, I want you to capture my attention so that I’m going to spend another 30 seconds with you.

RUTH: Okay.

CONNI WELLS: Okay? All right. So, I’m --

RUTH: Well, my senator is Hilary Clinton.

CONNI WELLS: All right, I get to be the big B.

RUTH: Yes, you come right in here. You have to make your entrance really good. Senator Clinton, so nice to meet you.

CONNI WELLS: Oh, hi, how are you?

RUTH: I’m fine. Thank you. I’d like to tell you how wonderful it is to have the opportunity to remind you that we gave you a Family Voices Award for your family involvement a couple of years ago.

CONNI WELLS: Oh.

RUTH: And I have a child with special health care needs.

CONNI WELLS: Oh.

RUTH: And I represent a whole group of families with children with special health care needs.

CONNI WELLS: Great.

RUTH: And it’s very important that we have the emergency medical services budget passed. And we know that you’re on the budget committee. And we know that you’ll do a wonderful job for us.

CONNI WELLS: Thank you. Oh come on, that’s worth a grand. That was great. See how she just moved right into that. So what she did was right away, she introduced herself but she didn’t make herself the focus. She made sure that she was -- now, if I were a professional, if I were a PhD at a university and a huge program, and I were meeting a dean of the school, wouldn’t I right away, start talking about who I am and what I do and what I want? And why shouldn’t we do it too? So, we’ve done an example. And then the next thing is -- and we’re going to practice in just a few minutes. All of you are going to get an opportunity to do this. The next thing is you want to make your point. And Ruth was great at that. First of all, when she introduced herself, she let Hilary know that Hilary probably owed her something. And she said it in a very polite way. She reminded Hilary that she represented an organization that thought enough of her that they had given her an award. And therefore, she held with Hilary that expectation that Hilary was going to do something more. Then she came to the issue. She made the point. She clarified what it was.

And then, you talked about the impact. Because guess what? When you walk away, if you’ve only talked about yourself and your own family, then the impact is not very big or significant for that person. But if they could tie you in to hundreds of other people, then they begin to think more broadly. Very seldom we’ll see an article in a paper that talks about -- can I use Mark as an example?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Absolutely.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. I don’t know how long ago it was and we were in the middle of the story, so I haven’t heard it all. So I’m going to have to add a little to it. But just for theatrics. Okay. Mark decided that he -- and he has some significant developmental incognitive delays disabilities. And he’s on his own but he has had a lot of support from his family. He decided one evening after he told his parents goodnight and he went to his apartment that he was going to go see how the airport worked at night. And he left and he wasn’t there in the morning when they got there. And I imagined all kinds of things could have went on. But let’s just pretend that Mark was supposed to be under the supervision of somebody and they didn’t supervise him appropriately. Somehow, he slipped out through the cracks and ended up at the airport. Now, if someone were to tell that story and they stopped there, then it’s a real sad story for Connie and John and Mark. But if they would have continued on with, you know, “We find that there’s individuals like Mark all across the country that don’t have anybody to watch over them and no way of checking in with them in the evenings. And so often they can end up getting in harms way.” So when you start moving it to that broader picture.

So it’s really important as you start making your point, that even though you’ve validated yourself, with who you are as an individual, that you quickly move that to a bigger picture. Now guys, you’re in Washington. You didn’t get here because you’ve done some little thing for your family or because you’re some small person within an agency or program that you work with. You are here for a reason. You have been identified as a leader. And there’s certain responsibilities that go with being a leader. And I think that we can use some of them to go ahead and move forward whatever your agenda might be. Now, I think people in this room probably don’t all have the same reasons for wanting to be here and wanting to change the system. Shauna, why are you here?

SHAUNA: First of all because I have a commitment to (inaudible) to be here and have been here. Second of all, I needed a vacation. I’ll be really honest.

CONNI WELLS: She does need a vacation. Good.

SEAN: So, two reasons.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. Melody, why are you here?

MELODY: Because of my dedication to kids.

CONNI WELLS: Because of your dedication to kids. What do want to see happen as a result of you being here?

MELODY: Allowing me to get some education to continue to live and nudge and honor my legislators to give us funding and give us support to the kids.

CONNI WELLS: Good. Why are you here?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: To continue my long-term commitment to building emergency medical services for all of the people including children.

CONNI WELLS: Great. Betsy, why are you here?

BETSY: Because my life long advocacy for children especially special needs children. I want to see that work continue.

CONNI WELLS: Good. Phyllis.

PHYLLIS: (Inaudible)

CONNI WELLS: Great. Anyone else have any other different reason why they’re here? Yes.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I’m here because I’m from Guam. And I want to find out what federal funding -- what federal monies are available so that I could take some of that back to Guam. To utilize for children and of Guam with special needs.

CONNI WELLS: Good. Mickey why are you here?

MICKEY: I’m here because you’re here. I love to listen to you.

CONNI WELLS: Not to mention that she’s a federal officer.

MICKEY: Yeah. Because of the children.

CONNI WELLS: Why are you here?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I’m here as a community representative. It’s my first time to come here. So I’m here basically to learn what you guys have and take some of the best practices out there and try to use it at home.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Where are you from?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I’m from (Inaudible) I’m with them.

CONNI WELLS: Great. So you could see that while we all have a common bond, we may had different things that we want to take home. Let’s see, someone throw me a topic that you would like me -- I’m not dancing. Donny’s here. He’s my better half and we’ve never met except by telephone. He’ll catch up with this really fast. He’s on jet lag, but we’re going to fast-forward him. Someone throw out a topic that you would like me to try to come up quickly with an impact point. Anything.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Special needs shelters?

CONNI WELLS: Special needs shelters. Don’t get me started. Only 15 seconds? Okay. The first thing that’s going to come into my mind, let’s pretend that I have just run into Joe, and Joe is in charge of the state of Florida’s special needs shelters. Okay? So real quickly, first of all, when I introduced myself, I need to let him know that his shelters are important to me. So I have to let him know who I am, where I’m from, and that I have a child with special healthcare needs. And furthermore, this is an important one; I work with over 57,000 families in the state of Florida who have children with special healthcare needs who are potential residents of his special needs shelters. So I validated why I’m going to make the point. The next thing I need to do is very quickly in my mind organize what is the most important thing that I want to say to him? Now, let’s talk a minute. What are some things that you think that Joe’s going to need to know?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: What we need from him?

CONNI WELLS: What we need from him.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Why I need it?

CONNI WELLS: Why I need it.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: The stuff he’s done in the past hasn’t worked.

CONNI WELLS: The stuff he’s done in the past hasn’t worked.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: What you can do for him?

CONNI WELLS: What I can do for him. What else? Joe, can you think of anything you want to know from me before I talk to you?

JOE: Republican or democrat?

CONNI WELLS: Okay. Yeah. He’s good. He knows Florida way too well, and he’s from Montana. Okay. As I’m thinking about everything that you guys have said, it’s all really important, so I know I’m not going to be able to say all of that in 15 seconds, am I? So I’m going to have to prioritize really quickly in my mind exactly what it is that I want to say to him and then during the closing part, I’m going to try to get an invitation to come and talk to him further in more detail. Okay. So what you’re trying to do is get that token, to get in the door. So don’t think that in 15 seconds you have to do it all. We want a token. We want a free pass. We want an invitation. So what am I going to say to him that’s going to get that for me? John.

JOHN: I think you recognize their problems, and like, you help them solve it.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. All right. This is the way I think that I would handle it. First of all, I’ve already introduced myself so I won’t make you go through that. But, and, “Joe, I just wanted to follow up. Wow! Haven’t we had a difficult couple of years with all these hurricanes? I don’t’ know how you’ve done it. I mean, keeping up with a number of families that are surfacing back and forth through these shelters. You know John, Joe… You know Joe, our organization had an opportunity to pull together an awful lot of family’s stories about how they were encountering the shelters. Would you at all be interested in me sharing some of those stories so that we could sit down and talk about the strengths and the weaknesses or where we might be able to help you?” You think that might be a good approach? Because there’s so many things, and again, what would really be good is if I could start with for example, “Have you heard about the Gonzalez family and what happened with them down in (inaudible) when they tried to flee their trailer park?” And that, you know, things that they encounter. So if you can give him a personal story from you or another family and then encounter into this. You know what? I represent more than me and we have something to share.

So you guys all did a wonderful job in terms of helping me frame what it is I’m going to say. Now, how are you going to do that? I mean, if you’re walking down the airport hallway and you run into someone important, you’ve got to have your act together fast. Right? So you need to really prioritize and think about what you’re going to say. What if you don’t have, do you think you should skip the moment?

JOHN: I’ll tell you a real life story.

CONNI WELLS: Oh, great.

JOHN: I’m shopping one Saturday morning at an OfficeMax for some office supplies. I turned to corner and I literally run into -- because I don’t see very well, I literally run into our senator, Senator Jack Reed.

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

JOHN: So, I come around the corner, and run into him and I said, “Senator Reed, John (inaudible), from Rhode Island Park”. I said, “I didn’t realize you had enough -- had any spare time left to do your own shopping.” And he says, “(Inaudible) -- I get to the -- you know, when I got back —home I do a few things.” So that particular time, I was there, I was interested in some funding for the administration of developmental disabilities and I said to him, I can’t remember her name now somebody from his office.

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

JOHN: I said, “Your office person has been really helpful to us in pushing forward the budget.”

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

JOHN: “The appropriation.”

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: “Thank you. You have really good people working for you.”

CONNI WELLS: Great.

JOHN: And I walked away.

CONNI WELLS: Wonderful. So you don’t always have to have a cause. You can just compliment. And remember, a minute is just a ticket. It is just a ticket for a follow-up. So I know, that if you followed up with him later, he would remember you as the person who complimented him, his program and someone in his office. Never skip a magic moment just because you don’t know what to say. At least introduce yourself, who you are, what you represent. Okay? Donny, I’m going to put you right on the spot and make you jump right in. Come on up here. Come on down.

DONNY: Do I do the (inaudible) first?

CONNI WELLS: Not yet. Not yet. We’re going to -- how are you?

DONNY: How are you?

CONNI WELLS: Welcome back to America.

DONNY: Hey guys, you know, you mean a lot to me because I left my family in the Bahamas to come to hang out with you.

CONNI WELLS: It was me.

DONNY: You mean a lot to me.

CONNI WELLS: It was me. Okay. We only have one microphone.

DONNY: Oh, yeah. I got my notes it’s in the back there.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. Well, you were telling me when you were talking, that you wanted to talk about and encounter that you had, was it in an airport?

DONNY: Oh, I had a friend who wanted Sonny, no, I keep calling him Sonny Bono.

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

DONNY: Somebody help me out. The U2 group. Sonny Bono.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: It’s just Bono.

CONNI WELLS: No Sonny. Bono. We’re old.

DONNY: Yeah. Let me get the oldest person in here, that person will know. But anyway, this guy wanted Bono real bad.

CONNI WELLS: Uh-huh.

DONNY: And what he did, he went to a conference in South Africa. And he noticed that the guys that had put this conference together were a bunch of adults. But the issue was youth development. Creating young leaders. The youth weren’t there to hear the pitches. So he decided he wanted to put a conference together that has youth involved. They would go to South Africa and they will engage with each other. Now he needed someone that he knew could underwrite and pull folks into this big old party. And he knew that there was somebody that was on the same accord as he was on the issue of helping children in Africa. Black people in Africa. He happened to go to second -- there was a second airport in Chicago. It’s a smaller airport…

CONNI WELLS: Midway?

DONNY: Midway. He happened to miss the flight and got steered to Midway, to get the back-up flight. Well, low and behold, that magic moment happened. Now he was thinking about Bono weeks in advance. Guess who was in Midway Airport? Undercover. Low key. In the average Joe clothes. Bono. Bono. Now, remember how you say you just sort of capture that moment?

CONNI WELLS: Yeah.

DONNY: But the first thing he did, he did sort of what us American Red Cross teachers do -- he scoped out the scene. He wanted to make sure that a hoard of people weren’t going in at one time he didn’t have a chance and have to get to this guy. He watched his body language. If Bono was going to say, “Shoo, get away” or if Bono going to say, “Come. Come all ye”. Bono was very receptive. He was signing autographs, he sat down -- he sat down in an Indian or Native American style. Talked with someone in the airport. Maybe he must like Midway, because he can be that regular person.

CONNI WELLS: Yeah.

DONNY: Well, he took advantage and he touched base with Bono. Just like she said, the ticket, he touched based, he did that, sort of diplomacy (inaudible).

CONNI WELLS: Yeah.

DONNY: “I understand the concepts and the issues you’re working on, I want to talk to you later. Can I get in touch with you? Who should I talk to, to schedule some time?” That was his ticket.

CONNI WELLS: Anybody else ever have a magic moment? Have any of you had a wonderful opportunity that just popped up? Unexpected? Oh, come on. Yes.

MELISSA: The recent one we (inaudible) is working with my --

CONNI WELLS: Stand up, would you? Thanks.

MELISSA: My name is Melissa and I’m from Reno, Nevada. And part of my job is I’m the coordinator for Safe Kids Coalition and we’re working on a public education campaign about not leaving kids in cars. And we were (inaudible) that a few meetings it was (inaudible) call into or had been released by the state and was available but they didn’t have the ability to spend it quickly (inaudible). Fabulous program that we’ve been working on and it just --

CONNI WELLS: It just happened.

MELISSA: -- after a few seconds we got $2,000, just like that.

CONNI WELLS: Wow! That’s worth a grand.

MELISSA: No. It’s for two grand.

CONNI WELLS: Yes.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I told the family just yesterday but on the way here today, we were sitting at the airport in New Orleans and (inaudible) is standing there and we weren’t sure if she was on the way here.

CONNI WELLS: And she is --

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: We didn’t know if she’s on the way here or on the way back. And so I said, “Deb, look.” And Debbie’s (inaudible), and I said, “That’s Marlinda. And she can’t see me.” Then he said, “Are you sure?” I said, “Of course, I’m sure. She’s on TV like every five minutes.” So I just went up to her and I said, “I just want to tell you thank you for everything you’ve done since Katrina, and we know that you’re fighting really hard for us. We’re on the way up there and hopefully to fight for other things. We’ll be up there for the EMSC (inaudible) and she’s like, “Oh, okay. You have a wonderful trip.” But I still didn’t know if she was coming or going. So, hopefully, we’ll catch her out here.

CONNI WELLS: Good.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: But it was just like seconds.

CONNI WELLS: Maybe worth a grand.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: But she had her entourage so you’re kind of scared, you know, to go (inaudible). They’re people --

CONNI WELLS: Yeah. Yeah, they’re people. Yeah. When the guy with the briefcase steps between you and her. Yes?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I was sitting in the (inaudible) and a bunch of dignitaries came in and a previous governor was standing there who’s married to one of our senators. And she had command and it was just relatively -- it was within the past couple of months when we got an email when I was at the EMSC but --

CONNI WELLS: Yes.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: And within a couple of days I walked over and handed my business card, introduced myself, asked if she’ll be in touch with me. We got back, that was a Friday, I got back to my office on Monday. I had an email from her, from her staff and a phone message from her.

CONNI WELLS: Oh man, now that’s a good one. All right, so you can see -- I don’t want to put anybody’s eye out, I got Safe Kids people here. So you could see how important it is that we be prepared and be ready and know who we’re looking for. And then in your closing, you need to thank them even if the shelters were a mess. This is his job and if I’m going to get a ticket -- is he going to invite me to come in and complain to him? Probably not, but I need to thank him at least for what he’s done. I need to recognize the fact that he’s important to us. And remind him why he’s important to families, saying things like, “You know, if we don’t have someone like you, Joe, fighting for us on the inside, there’s no way the voice of our families is ever going to be heard.” And you make your issue in point one more time. “So you know, Joe, we’re going to have to come out with some special credentialing and training to make sure that these special needs shelters are prepared to deal with families and their children with special health care needs or their adults with developmental disabilities,” and then some future directions.

So this is the cool part and it sounds like you did a great job with it because it got followed up on. But never leave them; never leave them. Remind them that you’re going to call them. And I like to go so far as to say -- let’s see -- she’s not going to let go of my hand. I go so far as to say, “I would love to get back with you on this and give you that information that we discussed. Who in your office is it that I should contact?” Now, guys, I’m not going to get her cell phone number. If she’s a senator, if this is Jeb Bush, you’re not going to get the cell phone number. There’s going to be like a whole layer of people you have to go through. So I want to know the name of the person that he uses and recognizes as the buffer, okay? Now, it’s very possible that in terms of the food chain that person’s going to be buried deep in an office but you know what? If I can build a relationship with that person, because then when I call that person up and I say, “Cathy, I ran into Jeb Bush outside the men’s restroom the other day and he --

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Oh, really?

CONNI WELLS: But if I can say, “You know what Cathy? I ran into Jeb Bush the other day at the Family Cafe Conference and he said that I needed to get a hold of you.” I used her name. I told him that he used her name. I mean how exciting. Even if he is she is shut in the corner office, the fact that Jeb Bush gave me her name. I mean there’s a lot of people that work in his office that I’m sure he doesn’t know their names. So just using his name, her name and that might help me to get a little further along. So in that closing you try to get the name of a person.

Now in terms of Joe, the shelter man. Joe, I may be able to get through directly. So Joe is not a Senator, he’s not a governor, he’s not a representative, he’s not the secretary of health or anything. So Joe, I’m probably going to say, “So Joe, you know, just thanks so much. I’d like to follow-up on this, would you rather I call you directly or is there someone in your office you would like me to work with?” And let Joe have the opportunity to identify that person because you know what? He’s going to hand me off to him anyway. So even if I did call him and say, “Hi, is Joe there?” Chances are, Joe’s going to go, “Conni Wells? Oh, Conni Wells, yeah. Have her go to Sue Smith out in the back office.” Okay? So give him the choice already and let him know that you respect his power, respect his authority and that you want to work with that. Okay. Are there any questions at all? Who would like to try doing a closing for me? Who wants to be a guinea pig?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: I have an example as you were talking about -- you know we all work in various jobs and stuff and so as we run across people, it’s not always they’re going to recognize us in that form and so several years ago when we were lobbying for the primary seat belt bill. The senator’s office happened to call the -- because I was the bailiff in and that was all over the court case and that senator had painted pictures and they were going to have get -- he was going to have to rearranged his whole schedule to come to court. Well I was able to call attorneys and take care of that and I said, “By the way, you know, I have you on the phone, you don’t know who you’re talking to, do you?” Because I’ve been in that office and the secretary was like, “Oh.” Of course they recognized my son’s name more than mother. And she said, “Well, will you call us if you ever have any problems.” I said, “Well, you know I do every time we have to come to town there a lot of time I can’t find a parking place.” And she said, “Anytime you come from now, I’ll call ahead and there’ll be a parking place.” And guess what? My son always had a parking place.

CONNI WELLS: Isn’t that great?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: So you can do it like that?

CONNI WELLS: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. So you can build on something and you might get a magic moment today and it may repeat itself again tomorrow. Thank you. Let me tell you about how well this has worked. You ever notice how you drag your kids around to the things that you do and pretty soon they begin to understand and recognize what mom and dad are about. The work that they do; Shauna was telling that her little boy thought she was coming here to do a presentation and understood why she needed to leave his hospital room and encouraged her to come and do the work that needed to be done. Our kids pick that up and two years ago, we were at the Capitol testifying on behalf of children with special healthcare needs in the Children’s Health Insurance Program. And they were going to make some changes, so of course we took the grandkids as props. Okay?

So we had all the little kids in the front row and they were sitting there and they were like oblivious to what’s going on. They’re not paying a lot of attention, they’re coloring and all this. And I testified and they took the vote and they voted against what we wanted. So of course, we were frustrated but you guys know how that is, you sometimes have to go again and again and again, it’s a long process. Jordan’s brother AJ is a year older than her and at the time he was 8 years old and bless his heart, we get out in the hallway and he says, “Grandma, did we win?” And there’s all these reporters around and he says, “Grandma, Grandma, did we win?” And I said, “Shh, just a minute AJ.” And I’m talking and then he says, “Grandma, did we win?” And I said, “Well, no.” And he says, “We didn’t win? They voted against healthcare for children?” Well you can imagine all the cameras went and needless to say 8-year-old AJ was now on the evening news.

Now, AJ has on some significant behavioral and mental health problems so mind you by this time his mother is in cardiac arrest and she’s scared of what he’s going to say. And so, a lobbyist that was with us got down on his level and said, “You know AJ, a lot of times we have to go through a process,” and she’s trying to explain a legislative process. And he says, “But isn’t Jeb Bush still the boss?” And she said, “Well, yes.” And he says, “I’m going to see him.” And I said, “Well, AJ,” he says, “No, no, I’m going to see him.” He said, “We need healthcare.” And so of course, there goes AJ down the hall with a whole troop of reporters. And so we all walk into the governor’s office and AJ walks up to the counter and says, “I’d like to see the governor please.” And the lady said, “Well, he’s out of town today.” And AJ says, “But I need to talk to him. You’re not going to believe what those people did, they just voted against healthcare for kids.”

And what happened was, they sent a man out to talk to AJ, and he was very polite. In three months, that man became the head of the Medicaid Program for the state of Florida and he never forgot AJ. Last year, they were passing some important legislation that would determine what kind of psychotropic drugs families had access to in the state of Florida, and AJ’s medication was not on there. We were able to call up that office and say, “Remember AJ? His meds aren’t on there.” And we were able to talk to him. So a magic moment can happen through a child, through a parent, through an adult, through your job and then it can re-open itself, over and over and over again. AJ will probably become a president. So you need to keep in mind that when the opportunity arises, it’s not all about you. Isn’t it cool that an 8-year-old never focused on himself? And never said, “I’m not going to get healthcare, I’m going to lose my health care, mommy and daddy are going to broke paying for my medication.” It was never about that. And if we could learn one thing from a lesson like that, we need to learn that when we have a magic moment, it’s not about us.

Just as Donny’s friend, it wasn’t about, “I want to do this great thing,” it’s that, “We want to do this thing with families.” So you need to remember that it’s not about you, what it is about, our families, communities, children and youth, opportunity and leadership. That leadership is so important, that’s why you’re here. There is nobody here who is not a leader. So we each have different levels of opportunity and growth. And one of them is ourselves, certainly Conni. The things that Mark has taught you, I’m sure is in your opinion, made you a better individual.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Absolutely.

CONNI WELLS: I can’t even imagine that he wouldn’t. And then there’s different levels for the child and family, as with AJ, as with Mark. Don’t think for a minute that Mark isn’t on his own mission teaching people, and I’m sure you’ve raised him that way, or did he raise you that way? But he’s teaching people about what it is that they need to do. And then as an organization, a home and a community, but an organization, how many of you belong to an actual, what we would call a family run organization? Great. Shauna, just give me the name of yours.

SHAUNA: Family Support Services Center for values center (inaudible) and several.

CONNIE WELLS: Okay, John and Connie.

CONNIE: The Personal Lifetime Advocacy Networks.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, that’s -- what’s it, the acronym?

JOHN AND CONNIE: P-L-A-N.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, who else? Someone else raise their hand back there. Yes.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Family Voices.

CONNI WELLS: Family Voices. What’s Family Voices?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: National Grassroots Organization of family’s concern about children with special healthcare needs.

CONNI WELLS: Great. Linda.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Families help with families.

CONNI WELLS: What is it?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Families help with families is an organization run strictly by parents for children with special needs.

CONNI WELLS: Great, there was others.

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: We’re not strictly parents, we’re PTA.

CONNI WELLS: PTA, awesome, awesome. John did you raise your hand?

JOHN: Yeah, Parents with (inaudible) children.

CONNI WELLS: Anyone else?

UNKNOWN SPEAKER: Mothers of Twins.

CONNI WELLS: Mothers of Twins. So you can see that we all have our own different affiliations that we can represent. So Family Voices, what is the one thing that they drum into our heads with Family Voices is when we’re making those connections we say, our organizations name, you can throw it in there because you can follow it with, “I’m with Family Voices and we represent over two and a half million families in the United States of America, dah dah.” When you start throwing out that it’s more than just me, it really does help. I mean, when you start saying an organization name -- and this is an opportunity for growth and change, I think for all of us, of getting beyond the past. I’m sure EMSC, in my early years, got really tired of hearing about that first terribly batched emergency call to our house, they got sick of it. And there comes a point in time where you need to get over the bad things that happened and start figuring out what your role and responsibility is in making it better. So you have to move beyond that past and turn your experience into expertise. Someone here, tell me something that happened to you that initially was bad and you turned it into something that changed the lives of other people?

SUSAN: When my son was five he had a cardio (inaudible). It was a nightmare from start to finish in terms of total lack of respect, for him and for our family. And I was so angry that I not only wrote to the hospital administration but I also wrote (inaudible) to medical schools and I wrote to the deans with the medical schools and talked about the fact that the graduates they were turning out had no idea --

CONNI WELLS: Wow!

SUSAN: -- to do for him in many years when he talks to the medical students and (inaudible) residence about (inaudible).

CONNI WELLS: Susan is now recognized by other family leaders in the nation as someone who knows how to educate residents, professionals and hospital people on how to treat a family. Someone else raise -- you did, yes.

DEBBIE: I’m Debbie Kellis and I’m California’s Parent Advocate. My son fell into our swimming pool 18 years and a half years ago. His nanny went in to save him and she drowned. He’s a vegetative survivor now 21, living in a six-bed care facility. But as a result of that, I’ve become a Parent Advocate for California and I agreed to take that job because I’m a full-time realtor by saying, “I will do that if I can make drowning prevention and awareness California’s campaign because drowning if the leading cause of accidental deaths in children under four, and the biggest opponent of any change in California’s Law is the California Association of Realtors. I’m a realtor! I’m going to change it.

CONNI WELLS: Oh, awesome.

ROSE: My name is Rose and I came from the island of (inaudible). I am the chairperson for the EMSC Advisory formerly that we have formed. My experience is my baby brother was killed in that car crash. It was a drunk driver that was involved and with that, I started working for our local police. I run the traffic programs and everything, that’s why when you said you work for Safe Kids Coalition I was like, “Yes, magic moment,” but -- later on we’ll talk about that.

And then I founded a non-profit organization. There was a three-year-old boy that passed away, the same way my brother did, so what I did was to spoke to his family and we were able -- with their permission, I use the baby’s name in front of an issue and then we go out we talk about car seat and safety and everything surrounding the kid (inaudible). And when my friend Tom told me about the EMSC program I said, “That’s it, that’s all wrap.” Then we go the EMSC, help them out, and hopefully we can make it better for --

CONNI WELLS: Awesome. So you can see how people have turned negative experience into a positive thing and making change on behalf of an entire population and becoming that change agent. So we need to keep our focus on opportunities that miracles do happen. I mean would you not consider that some of the things that we just heard almost seem like a miracle when you start with the original catastrophe that moved it. And then it allows us that responsibility to represent those that are behind us but not with this. We all represent a lot of people who are not here. A lot of them don’t even know you’re here. Many of them would not want to come here.

Some of them would like to come here but you have a responsibility to represent them and there’s a chance that few of them are going to get. We’re going to have a little test, okay, and then we’re going to do some practicing. I’m going to show you the picture of somebody and I’m going to see who knows who that person is. If you know who that person is, raise your hand and then we’re going to do a magic moment with that person. Okay. Donny, come on up here. I think these are like almost all men. Okay. You’re going to be some famous people. Okay. You’re a chameleon now.

DONNY: All right.

CONNI WELLS: All right. Who is this person? Anybody know? Ruth, who is it?

RUTH: Van Dyke.

CONNI WELLS: Stand up.

RUTH: I’m sorry, who was it? Peter Van Dyke.

CONNI WELLS: Tell us what Peter does.

RUTH: Peter is the associate administrator for the Maternal and Child Healthcare.

CONNI WELLS: Why is he an important person?

RUTH: Why is he an important person? Because he funds our Maternal and Child Health block grants and he oversees the performance measures and he oversees the programs.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, Donny is going to be Peter. Who would like to have a magic moment with someone who’s in-charge of the block grants for all of the United States of America, as well as -- I’m not sure, but is not emergency medical services for children someplace underneath of him? Who would like to have a magic moment with Dr. Van Dyke? Oh, come on.

DONNY: Don’t you all come out at one time now. Take it easy.

CONNI WELLS: Go ahead.

DONNY: Can I just pick someone?

CONNI WELLS: Yes, you may. And if they don’t want to do it, they will pass.

DONNY: The woman with the flower here. Since you have a flower here, you might want to take advantage of your appearance? Come on. You don’t find women walking around with flowers in their ears and I just come back from Bahamas.

CONNI WELLS: Now, the deal that we have is if it will embarrass them or they don’t want to do it, they get to say pass. Do you want to use the pass or you want to try it?

DONNY: It’s too late now.

LEONA: Try it.

CONNI WELLS: All right. Go for it. Go for it, Peter. Go for it, Peter.

DONNY: I’m coming through -- how about the airport?

CONNI WELLS: Airport.

DONNY: Should I throw a challenge like I’m on a cell phone?

CONNI WELLS: Oh, no, let’s not do that to her yet. No, let’s do the standard 101 magic moment. Okay?

DONNY: All right. I’ll be looking for the coffee shop.

CONNI WELLS: Grab him. Do you want me to help you out here?

DONNY: Help me out to break the ice (inaudible) flower.

CONNI WELLS: We’re traveling together. Okay?

LEONA: Okay.

CONNI WELLS: Okay, I understand.

DONNY: I’m looking for the men’s room.

CONNI WELLS: Dr. Van Dyke, hi.

DONNY: Hi.

CONNI WELLS: Conni Wells.

DONNY: Oh.

CONNI WELLS: Yeah. I met you at the EMSC meeting last year. I want you to meet -- how do you say it?

LEONA: Leona.

CONNI WELLS: Leona. And I tell you Leona has something to talk you about.

DONNY: Hi, Ms. Leona. Pleasure to meet you. You don’t need to be nervous.

CONNI WELLS: Who are you? Who are you?

LEONA: I’m with the EMSC in American Samoa.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. And why are you here? To make a difference for families. It could be something --

LEONA: To make a difference for families.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. Now, I know Dr. Van Dyke very well and what he’s going to do is he’s going to say you, “Really what do you do?” He’ll prompt you. He’s a great guy about prompting you. He’ll quiz you to know. So go ahead and help her out a little bit.

DONNY: What kind of work are you in?

LEONA: I’m not good at this.

DONNY: Or the typical question, what do you do?

LEONA: I’m the inter-prevention specialist for the EMSC in American Samoa.

DONNY: Say that again.

LEONA: Inter-prevention specialist.

DONNY: What is that in layman terms? I’m just as dumb as a cucumber. What is that?

CONNI WELLS: Hey, you said it, I didn’t.

LEONA: I think I’ll pass on this?

DONNY: (inaudible)?

CONNI WELLS: Okay, she wants to pass. Okay. Anyone else want to take -- now you see how hard it is to get that together in a moment. But you do understand that Dr. Van Dyke is someone that we might really want to talk to. So I’m going to grab you and you can be on a cell phone, you can do anything you want. Okay.

DONNY: Yes, sir. Yes.

CONNI WELLS: Dr. Van Dyke.

DONNY: Oh, Tom, hold on for a minute. Someone needs to talk to me. Actually I’ll just call you back. Okay? And that’s a kind person that says I’ll call you back.

CONNI WELLS: Hi, Peter. How are you doing? Conni Wells from Florida.

DONNY: Oh, my goodness. How are you Ms. Wells?

CONNI WELLS: I’m doing great. I’m doing great. You know I’m here in town for the emergency medical services for children’s grantee’s meeting.

DONNY: Ooh, that sounds like --

CONNI WELLS: Yes, and we’re all getting together.

DONNY: (Inaudible).

CONNI WELLS: You know how EMSC is doing in Florida. It’s just amazing with the guidance of your office and the support that we’ve been receiving, we have done -- we’ve circulated brochures for families, we’re doing disaster planning and preparation and without the program, I don’t know where we would be.

DONNY: Wow. You guys have been extremely busy.

CONNI WELLS: Yeah. You are aware the program is up for a cut.

DONNY: Tell me -- listen, I’m going to give my card and I want you to call Thomas Hacker. Notice I use the word hacker? Hacker, budget? I’m going to have you call Thomas Hacker.

CONNI WELLS: Okay.

DONNY: Right now, I’m going to catch a plane.

CONNI WELLS: Okay.

DONNY: Before I go to the men’s room -- after I go to the men’s room.

CONNI WELLS: Okay. That’s great.

DONNY: So I want you to call Mr. Hacker and I’m going to talk more about this. Okay?

CONNI WELLS: Okay. I’m going to get a hold of him and in the mean time, I’m going to go ahead and send you an email and show you an example of some of the things that Emergency Medical Services has done in Florida. And you decide for yourself whether you think our families can live without it.

DONNY: All right and what did you say your name is again?

CONNI WELLS: Conni Wells.

DONNY: Yes. Yes. I heard of you.

CONNI WELLS: Yeah, I know you have.

DONNY: And they’ll do that. They pretend like (inaudible) they remember (inaudible). She did it best. I asked her for her name twice and be ready for that.